fast-food joint missionary (12.3.06)

hey guys...nothing new in my life, really. i worked 12 hours today, but i feel like i did nothing productive. i was in a contest, however, and in conjunction with two of my co-workers, sold 83 Coca-Cola holiday bears. woohoo...isn't that just so exciting? if you're wondering where i work, i work at a place called RAX. it's kinda like Arby's. yup, i work in a fast food joint. and you're wondering why i miss ywam?! yeah, i'm a fast-food joint missionary. someone please tell what i was thinking when i left ywam chicago two years ago? yes, i knew God was calling me back home, and yes, i knew that God said yes, this is the man i have for you. but really, why on earth couldn't i find a better job? and yes, i know that God has me at rax for a purpose...there's a family there that He wants me to share my life with. i dunno....i guess what i'm really missing is that intense relationship with God that i used to have. instead, this past year has sucked in regards to my relationship with God. mindy, if you're reading this blog, i feel like what you were saying in a blog from like a year ago...that i need to go back to that place where i last felt the presence of God, and though that wasn't at ywam, it was at home, i'm just not sure how or where to start. i've started so many times, and cried at to Him so many times, but it just seems to fall on deaf ears...or maybe it's just my hard heart. who knows? anyway, i know i keep rambling..if anyone's listening, let me know...